空間

師父 聖開上人常常鼓勵弟子們要多寫稿，可是筆拙的我，卻常常寫不出來。有一天好不容易寫了一篇稿，很高興的呈給師父看，請師父改。師父看完後，對我笑一笑說：「做人要留空間讓別人改，寫文章也一樣。」
原來我把一張稿紙寫得滿滿的，師父上人根本沒空間可改，我很慚愧地告訴師父說：「弟子重抄後，再請師父改。」
師父的話真是當頭棒喝！是啊，寫文章要留空間讓人改，做人何嘗不是呢！但往往自己的執著心生起來，任何人的話都聽不進，還會跟人爭得面紅耳赤，有時好朋友會因此而成陌生人，親人變仇人，想想多不划算，損失的還是自己啊！
觀看這世間的一切，有太多太多的人、事、物，都是因為不給別人留空間，丟不起面子所引起的，結果社會一片烏煙瘴氣，自己也灰頭土臉
，失去了進步的空間。如果每個人都不怕別人的指正互相包容與鼓勵，自然社會祥和，受益的也是自己啊！ 但願在每個人的心中都能留下一些空間，容許別人的建議和批評，相信極樂世界就在我們的眼前。 ～ 人乘弟子 記～

勝利者也是輸家

Discover the 90/10 Principle
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? ……….By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. But you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle
It CAN change your life!!! Enjoy…

發現了 90/10 的定律
它將改變你的一生（最低限度，它將改變你對不同情況的反應）。 90/10 的定律是什麼？生命的 10% 是由你的際遇所組成，餘下的 90% 則由你的反應而決定。
這意味著什麼？我們無法掌握那 10% 的際遇。 我們無法阻止行程因汽車壞掉、航班誤點，甚或車子拋錨而延誤。我們無法控制那 10% 的際遇，但餘下的 90% 則不然。你可以決定餘下的 90% 。 如何？ … 憑你的反應。
你不能控制交通燈轉紅，但你能夠控制你的反應。別讓他人愚弄你，你能夠控制你的反應。
讓我們舉個例子。

你與你的家人吃早餐，你的女兒不小心把咖啡潑倒在你的襯衫上，這是你無法控制的情況。 下一步將如何則由你的反應而定。
你開始責罵。 你狠狠地臭罵女兒一頓，令她陷於痛苦之中。然後你又把怨氣發洩在太太身上，責難她把咖啡放在桌邊。接踵而來的是一場短暫的罵戰。你生氣地上樓更換你的襯衫。你下樓，然後發現你的女兒正哭著吃早餐並趕著回校。結果，她錯過了巴士。
你的太太趕著上班，你匆忙開車把女兒送回學校。因為你已經遲到了，你以時速四十英里在一條限速三十英里 上的道路前進。 你付了六十元道路罰款，終於抵達學校，並已遲到十五分鐘。你的女兒沒有跟你道別便已跑進學校。你回到公司，已是九時二十分了，這時你竟然發現──你忘了帶公事包。這是非常糟糕的一天，而你感到你的運氣每況越下，你開始渴望回家。
當你下班回家，你感到你與太太及女兒的關係上出現微小裂痕。 為什麼？ … 一切皆由你早上的反應而起。
為何你會有如此糟糕的一天？
Ａ）是咖啡所造成的嗎？
Ｂ）是你的女兒所造成的嗎？
Ｃ）是警察所造成的嗎？
Ｄ）是你所造成的嗎？

答案是Ｄ。

你無法控制女兒打翻咖啡一事，但你在緊接那五秒內的反應讓霉運開始發生。 以下是你改寫命運的結局。
咖啡翻倒在你身上，你的女兒幾乎要哭了，但你溫柔地說：「親愛的，這並不算什麼，但你下次得小心一點了。」你拿起毛巾便上樓去。在你更衣完畢並拿起你的公事包後，你下樓去，望出窗外，你看到你的孩子正在上巴士。她回頭並向你揮手。你早了五分鐘回到公司，並親切地與你的同事打招呼。你的上司亦對你新的一天給予正面的評價。 看到兩者的分別嗎？
兩個不同的情景，由同一個開首所引起。但結局完全兩樣。 為什麼？
皆因你的反應而起。 你或許真的無法掌控 10% 的際遇，但剩下的 90% 則可以由你的反應而定。
以下有一些實踐 90/10 定律的方法。如有人說起你的是非，千萬別當一塊「海綿」，讓那些攻擊性的說話像水在玻璃上一般的流走。別讓那些負面評價纏繞著你！
適當的回應能夠使你的生活免受破壞。一個錯誤的反應能夠使你失去朋友、生氣、甚或被壓力壓得喘不過氣來。
如果車子拋錨了，你會如何感想？你會生氣嗎？你會否猛擊車上的方向盤？我的一個朋友就把方向盤弄下來！你會怒罵嗎？你的血壓是否急速上升？你會否嘗試去踫擊他們？
誰會在意你上班遲到了十秒？為何讓車子破壞你的駕駛過程？
記著 90/10 的定律，別在意。
你被通知說你被辭退了。
你為何失眠與憤怒 ? 事情總是發生了。不如用你憂心的力量及時間去找尋新工作吧！
航班延誤了，而它將影響你一整天的行程。為何將你的怒氣發洩在服務員的身上？她並不能阻止事情發生。
如利用你的時間學習，或認識旁邊的乘客。不要憤怒，它將令你的一天變的更糟。
現在，你懂得了 90/10 的定律。實踐它，你將會發現它的驚人效果。嘗試實行它，你將不會有任何損失。 90/10 的定律非常神奇，而只有很少數的人懂得運用它。 結果呢？
超過百萬人沈溺在痛苦、嘗試、問題與心傷之中。我們必須理解並實踐 90/10 的定律。 它將改變你的一生。 願與各位並勉！